


Being Draco Malfoy

by BleuBengal



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Bottom!Harry, Drama, Fluff, Kid Fic, M/M, Memory Loss, Mpreg, Romance, top!draco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-15
Updated: 2014-11-23
Packaged: 2018-01-12 10:57:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,412
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1185426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleuBengal/pseuds/BleuBengal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Draco decides to fulfill his duty as a Pureblood and marry Astoria Greengrass. He leaves behind a heartbroken Harry who runs away without telling Draco he is pregnant. Draco tries to follow, but Lucius and Narcissa resort to drastic measures to keep them apart. What's a life without love? Especially a love that you can't remember?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Mask

Twenty-one year old Draco stood in front of the mirror straightening his tie. From an outside perspective, he was the picture of perfection. An aristocratic, educated, abundantly wealthy and extremely handsome young wizard. Yes, Draco Malfoy had it all. The mansions, the money, the clothes, the fame, and a beautiful fiancee as well as a position as the Vice President of a major company.

After the second Wizarding War, the Malfoy name was severely tarnished. It took an obscene amount of money, charity work, and groveling to return them to their previous status in society. The wizarding community graciously accepted the offers and slowly, but surely also accepted the new and improved Malfoy family. There had been so much loss and pain that no one had it in them to truly be consumed by petty hate and differences. They had all suffered in one way or another. Not to mention the fact that Lucius Malfoy's new company was quickly becoming a worldwide sensation. He had even gone as far as to branch out their products and services to Muggles which proved to be quite the source of revenue. Muggles may not live up to Lucius's backwards standards, but they were damn sure good for business.

Everyone wanted a piece of him. Men envied him, women wanted to be with him. What they all failed to realize was that Draco wished that he could be anyone else, but him.

Draco had been taught from a young age to hide his emotions. "Emotions are for lesser men Draco. You are a Malfoy. You were born of privilege my dear boy and that has its consequences. Your duty is to your name and nothing else. It is what defines you ," Draco could still hear his father saying. The mantra replaying itself over and over again in his mind.

'His duty' Draco thought with a scoff. His duty to take over a role he had no interest in. To deny his dreams of joining a professional quidditch team or being a healer because while being a healer is admirable work, it is too menial for a Malfoy. His duty to marry someone of his parent's choosing. Not for love, no. Not ever for love because love is an emotion. Love is a weakness. But rather to produce an heir of the highest quality possible.

Though his father would like to pretend to the public that he no longer held any of his previous prejudices, Lucius's pureblood upbringing was still in full form. It was something that could not be broken, it was a part of him just as the Dark Mark was. It was engrained in him. Expectantly he had chosen to ally the Malfoys with the Greengrasses, the second most powerful wizarding family in England.

Draco's fiancee, Astoria Greengrass was elegant and refined in a way that only a rich, pureblood witch could be. She was stunning with large brown eyes, dark chocolate curls that framed soft features and pouty lips. She possessed a quick wit and a charming smile. A match for him in every way that made logical sense. Not that any of it mattered to the man still staring in the mirror, his grey eyes cold and emotionless to hide his inner turmoil.

Turmoil at the thought of the man with emerald eyes and messy black hair that stubbornly refused to be tamed despite Draco's endless attempts to set it right with potions, spells and hair care products. The thought that he would quickly trade her soft body for a hard one, her pouty lips, for incredibly thin, but inexplicably soft ones, her smooth creamy skin for scarred tanned skin that held the pain and memories of a man who had experienced too much heartbreak for one lifetime. Scars that mirrored his own. He would trade it all for a totally illogical and nonsensical match. For one Harry James Potter.

He thought back to when he first met him in Madame Malkins at the age of eleven while being fitted for school robes. Even then, his heart had begun to race when looking at the small, skinny boy with the wide eyes. He wanted so badly to impress him and befriend him though he didn't know why. Draco's hostile upbringing and superiority complex chased Harry away. He could admit now that he had been an arrogant little git; too proud to drop his mask even back then. Imagine his surprise when he found that the boy he was so taken with was in fact, the Boy Who Lived. Lord Voldemort's and consequently his father's arch nemesis. Thus, the inevitable happened. Two children, wrapped up in something bigger than themselves and raised on opposing sides of a war, became enemies.

No one could have predicted that the end of the war was not only the end of Voldemort's reign of terror, but an end to the animosity between Harry and Draco as well. They began a tentative friendship; Simple acknowledgments on the streets of Hogsmeade, small talk at the various balls and charities, business meetings over tea. This eventually grew to love; holding hands behind glamours on the streets, stolen kisses in the dark corners of every ball and function, passionate sex on the kitchen table (on top of the forgotten paperwork), Kreacher left to clean up the spilled tea. It was more than Draco, or even Harry for that matter, ever imagined could be.

An all consuming love that makes your knees go weak and your mouth go dry. The life changing love that makes you want to be a better person just to feel worthy of the gift you've been given. Where you carry that person with you in your heart wherever you go because life without them is not only not worth living, but unimaginable. And you know that if even you searched the earth a million times over, you'll never find another best friend, a sometimes enemy, a lover, someone to laugh with, someone to yell at, someone to be yourself with, someone to share your life with.

It was over. Draco was leaving behind the only person who ever made him truly smile to be the man that would make his parents proud. He was giving up everything to do exactly what society expected of him. To be Draco Malfoy; another faceless slave of the unspoken pureblood rules just as many generations before him had. He desperately tried to shake the memory of the last time he saw Harry from his mind.

He continued without faltering to prepare for his sham of an engagement party. Dreading having to mingle with stuffy old family friends and his father's colleagues;forced to smile as they offer congratulations on the ruin of his life.

A knock sounded at his door. "Come in", he stated calmly.

His mother peeked her head around the corner and slowly entered. She gave him a warm smile and placed delicate hands on both sides of his face.

"Look at you. My little boy has grown up so. Are you ready my Dragon?", she asked.

'No, I'm not ready. I'm gay for Merlin's sake! Damn you woman, can't you see I'm miserable!,' he wanted to scream, but instead he chose to reply sensibly.

"Yes mother. Shall we?", he asked as he took her arm and led her down the winding staircase and into the decorated ballroom.


	2. Running

Three Weeks Earlier...

Draco was gone and Harry just couldn't process it.

Where had it all gone wrong? For Harry, these last two years had been the best of his life. Had they really thought this could work? The son of a death eater loving the Boy Who Lived? It was laughable.

And laugh he did. Laughed until his throat ran raw and his eyes were barely slits, red and dry from salted tears. Who would have thought that one single man could bring the savior of the wizarding world to his knees. He had survived abuse, starvation, numerous murder attempts, the death of almost everyone who ever meant anything to him and two wars. And somehow Draco was the only person left on this goddamned earth that could hurt him. Isn't that how it had always been? He knew just where to hit Harry, how to crawl beneath his skin driving him to the farthest end of hatred to the highest point of love.

Harry knew deep inside that he would never get over Draco. That single fact alone terrified him more than any Dark Lord ever could. A cold air settled around him and he briefly registered what was happening. Voldemort himself would rejoice from his grave if he could see him now. Harry Potter was dead inside. He died the moment Draco became Draco Malfoy.  
________________

It was just another day full of empty hours, empty conversations, and breathing. Nothing had meaning anymore. He was doing what he had to do. Anything to keep his mind off of Draco. So what if he was feeling sorry for himself? He was allowed that after what he'd been through. He put the tea kettle on and nibbled on a piece of toast.

With great satisfaction, he had already incendioed the Daily Prophet which contained a picture of the "Greatest Match in Recent History" displayed in the middle of the Society pages that he had to pass in order to get to the Sports pages. Draco and his fiancé Astoria. It was a joke. What kind of name was Astoria anyway?

Truthfully, he hadn't really left the house in three weeks. Only to go to work and come home from one of his missions covered in filth and fall into restless sleep. With the exception of the previous weekend when Seamus and Dean dragged him out to the clubs. It predictably ended in disaster.

Seamus had come over with Dean and convinced Harry that the best way to get him over the prat who dumped him was to go out and have the slummingest, dirtiest, best time of his life. Show him he didn't need him. None of his friends had any idea who the mystery ex was. They dressed him in skin tight clothes, lined his eyes in charcoal black, spelled his hair and pumped him full of fire whiskey before taking him out into the night.

Harry was completely sloshed and ended up with some bloke whose name he couldn't even remember who shagged him hard and fast up against a dirty stone wall. As the unknown man ripped through him, he felt like he was being fucked free from the indifference that had taken over his life. So Harry fucked him back. He held onto his hair a little harder, moaned a little louder and pretended he was with someone who loved him just so he could feel something.

He could still feel the man's breath on his neck whispering to him how really gorgeous he was and how tight his arse was. When the man finally grunted and lost himself inside Harry, only then did he let himself come back down and the tears started falling. The man was rather nice about the whole thing; helping Harry floo home and even leaving his number on the nightstand which for some reason made Harry feel even worse.

On top of it all, he had been vomiting and feeling ill for a few weeks and he couldn't even remember the last time he had a proper meal. It took all he had to peel himself off the tiled bathroom floor that morning and get dressed. He heard a 'pop' sound through the room. He looked up only to see Kreacher looking at him disapprovingly.

"Master is not eating again.", the ancient elf said.  
"I'm not hungry.", Harry replied gruffly.  
"Master is being sick. He is not listening when Kreacher says he should go see healer. Master is being very naughty. Kreacher thinks he must go to mudblood Granger and tell her.", his large eyes narrowing.  
"I told you to stop calling her that. And you wouldn't dare or else it's socks for you.", Harry snapped.  
Kreacher looked visibly upset at the mention of receiving clothes. "Hmph. Still, master must eat.", he stated firmly. "Kreacher will be back with more nutritious food." With another soft pop he was gone again.

Not wanting to deal with Kreacher's nagging again, Harry walked to the floo before the elf could return and landed in his office. He was soon lost in paperwork and owls. The last mission had been a huge success with over thirty arrests and the downfall of one of the largest illegal potions rings in England. This particular group also had an affinity for capturing half-bloods with creature ancestry and selling them for sex or slaves. They specialized in Veela and elf prostitution and wolf slaves/pets. He was so tired that he eventually fell asleep on top of a stack of files when he was awoken by a sharp object hitting him in the head.  
________________

"Potter.", a booming voice called.  
He looked up again only to see Shacklebolt staring at him intensely.  
"Christ Potter, you look like hell.", he remarked without tact.  
"Thanks for that Kingsley." Harry removed his glasses and rubbed at his tired eyes.

"You look terrible. They tell me you've been sleeping at your desk, vomiting in the loo and staying here all night. Have a floo to Mungo's and then take a long holiday. You're the best damn auror I have, but you've obviously reached your limit. Two weeks at least."

"I'm fine. Really.", Harry insisted. He didn't want to go home. There was nothing there for him, but his thoughts. He needed to work. He needed the distraction. It was the only thing holding him together.

"That was not a request Harry, it's an order. If you continue like this, you could get reckless and we can't have you endangering yourself or the others. Now get out of here."  
Harry sighed. "Fine, I guess it can't hurt to see someone. I'll go after I finish this report."  
"You do that."  
________________

"But... I...huh?" Harry stuttered frowning in confusion.  
"You're pregnant Mr. Potter. I'm sorry."  
"You're sorry? Is this some sort of joke? That's impossible. If you haven't noticed, I'm a male.", he yelled his voice rising a few octaves higher than normal.  
The healer's lips thinned. "I assure you I've noticed. I'm surprised no one thought to inform you considering your sexual... preferences."  
"Well they didn't.", Harry snapped. "What am I going to do now?"

He was going to have a baby. Draco Malfoy's baby to be precise. The same Draco Malfoy who was engaged to be married.

"I have a few questions for you if you don't mind." Harry nodded distractedly before she started rambling on.  
"When was the last time you had intercourse?"  
Harry nervously pulled at his hair not wanting to remember that night at all. "Um.. a few days ago."  
"Was this person the father?"  
"No. That was. It was a one time thing."  
"I see.", she commented and Harry could see the disapproval in her eyes.

"And the father, was he a one time thing also?"  
"We were together until fairly recently."  
"May I ask why?"  
"He's getting married...to a woman."  
The healer looked at him in pity. He hated it. "Does he know?"  
"No he doesn't and I don't plan on telling him." Harry said. He was thoroughly annoyed at this point.

She sighed. "I don't mean to pry Mr. Potter but is the other father perhaps a pureblood?"  
"I'm sorry. Why is this important again?"  
"I hate to be the one to tell you this, but you may not have a choice in whether or not you inform him. All pureblood heirs are automatically registered at the ministry once their magical signature can be detected at around twelve weeks. You're eight weeks now. Announcement letters are sent out to the families. It's to prevent illegitimate heirs you see."

Harry's face grew hot in panic and he struggled to breathe. "So what will happen then if he knows?"  
"I can't be sure, but most people choose to marry. Since he is already engaged, I do believe they have the option of petitioning the court for full custody. Perhaps you should seek counsel just in case."  
"But it's my child! He wants nothing to do with me. It won't even be a pureblood."  
"It doesn't matter. The first born is still the true heir. They possess all the ancient protection and the majority of the magic of the entire family line. Most purebloods will do anything to keep that power under their thumb."

The healer was still talking, but Harry had long stopped listening. His mind was in a jumble, but he knew what he had to do. Draco had taken everything from him, but he'd be damned if he let him take his child; the only family he had left. Harry slid off the examining table and apparated on the spot.  
________________

He couldn't sit and watch Draco get married. He was strong. No doubt about that, but not that strong. He couldn't keep lying to his friends telling them he was fine when he wasn't. He couldn't bury himself in his work anymore. He had someone else's life in his hands and for the first time it didn't feel like a burden. This was his chance to create a new life, for himself and the baby.

After sealing all the windows, shutting the floo down and covering the furniture with sheets with a few flicks of his wand, he jogged upstairs. Harry quickly magicked his clothes and treasured belongings into a few bags. As he moved to leave the room, something made him turn around. There on the floor lay a small white stuffed dragon. Draco's from childhood. Somehow it had gotten left behind.

He couldn't believe that Draco was once so innocent as to lug that thing around as child and furthermore, keep it into adulthood. It was one of the things he had loved about being with Draco. Peeling back all those layers and discovering the truly vulnerable person hidden underneath. It was all pointless now. He paused momentarily, threw it in the bag, shrunk the entire load and slipped it into his pocket. International FlooPort pass in hand, wand in the other, Harry felt the familiar tug at his navel and then... he was gone.


	3. Chasing

After the engagement party, Narcissa had made it a habit to invite Astoria over for breakfast no less than four times a week under the guise of wedding planning, but Draco knew that it was in hopes that they would grow more comfortable around each other. Although they had been acquaintances since childhood, they hadn't spent much time alone together or talked about anything of real substance. They were strangers to each other.

It was always somewhere lurking in the background. The very real possibility that they would eventually be betrothed. Especially after Astoria's mother had fallen ill a few years back and there was a rush to arrange a match for her in the event that she passed away before seeing Astoria taken care of. A preliminary marriage agreement had been drawn up, but nothing was official.

Draco would admit that he had been blindsided when his father sent him an owl proclaiming that he had actually signed the contract and they were to be married soon. Especially since he found himself smack dab into the middle of a relationship with Harry. He never thought it would actually happen to him. All of his friends had already been paired off, but he foolishly thought he had somehow escaped the tradition his blood demanded.

Draco pretended to be involved as his future wife and his mother discussed wedding details that he had absolutely no interest in; occasionally replying robotically. Yes, he thought traditional robes were better than Muggle suits. No, he did not like roses either. Orchids were much better. Yes, there should be a vegetarian option for the menu.

His mind, however was a million miles away from their breakfast table. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts always returned to Harry. It was always about him. He considered going to find him. To try and make things right and work out a way for them to still be together, but he knew there was no chance. Harry would be never agree to be second best and Draco couldn't ask him to. He missed him terribly.

The post arrived and the mail was dropped on the table in front of him. He shuffled through it, sorting it out into piles. The majority of it was for his father and a couple of parcels were addressed to his mother. However, there was a ministry letter addressed to him. From the "Pureblood Heir Registry"? Draco frowned. He hadn't heard of this office before. He untied the letter and began reading.

Draco abruptly stood from the table, shaking the entire thing in his haste. His heart was racing at a million beats per minute. No. This couldn't be true. Harry would have told him. He would never keep something like this a secret. 'Unless you walked out on him without any warning and decided to marry someone else', his mind helpfully supplied for him. Draco glanced up briefly to see two sets of eyes trained on him. Astoria's mouth was ever so slightly turned up at the corners into a frown, but her eyes were carefully blank.

"Mother, Astoria.", he acknowledged tightly. "I'm afraid I must leave you. I have something important to attend to."

"Is everything alright?", Astoria asked in concern. She appeared to be trying, but he couldn't find himself to believe her as sincere.

"I need to go to the office and check on things. Continue planning without me." He kissed his mother's cheek and begrudgingly Astoria's as well. Draco immediately went to Grimmauld Place. The wards were up and keyed to keep Draco out and he found himself arse flat on the ground in front of the gate. It was of little consequence as he was determined to break through them. 

After exhausting his magic to tear through Harry's extensive wards, he finally managed to open a hole large enough to step through. Draco burst through the front door seeing the furniture covered. He raced up the stairs to their old bedroom only to find it empty. Harry was gone. Everything was gone. All he could do was stand there frozen in shock. What had he done?

Narcissa discreetly gathered the fallen parchment that Draco had been reading with her pile of mail and continued discussing napkin options with her future daughter in law. Later that evening, Narcissa retrieved the parchment and clamped one hand over her mouth as she read its contents. She immediately headed towards Lucius's office.


	4. Forgetting

Draco poked at his dinner, consumed by thoughts of Harry's disappearance. What could he do? Harry had vanished without a trace. All sources led to a dead end. Most surprisingly was the fact that he hadn't even informed Granger and Weasley of his sudden departure. If there was one thing Harry knew, it was how not to be found. He feared he would never see his love or his child ever again. Draco sighed to himself as he made a mental note to consult the family lawyers to see if the marriage contract with Astoria could be broken. He never even noticed his father retrieve a small vial from his robes and tip it over into his wine glass. Lucius shared a pointed look with Narcissa.

The rest of the dinner went by fairly smoothly. As smooth as a dinner in the Malfoy house could be for that matter. Draco remained distant and spoke only when he was asked a direct question. Narcissa continued to chat about her usual nonsense. Shopping, gossip, aloof questions about the family business. Through her chatter however, her eyes were carefully trained on Draco who had begun lazily rubbing his eyes; vision blurry. Sweat beads formed on his forehead as he fidgeted with his tie trying to loosen it.

"Draco darling, are you all right? Do you need to lie down? ",she asked as she took another sip of her tea; her blue eyes glancing over the rim of her cup.  
"I'm fine mother.", he replied; his tone sharper than intended.  
"Perhaps you should take a rest." Lucius nodded in agreement.  
"I think I will.", Draco said standing up from the table struggling to keep his balance. His temperatures was rising by the minute. He barely made it to the door before collapsing onto the floor.

Lucius silently levitated Draco's body through the halls of the manor and into his bed.

"Are you certain we should Lucius?", Narcissa whispered.  
"Draco must marry Astoria. She's a fine witch, she will make a wonderful Malfoy." His tone held no room for argument.  
Narcissa's heart broke as she looked down at her son. Tears fell down elegant cheeks. In a rare moment of affection and kindness, Lucius took his wife into his arms.  
"This is our way. This is how it has always been done. Draco will thank us one day. We may have lost the war, but we must uphold tradition. Have I ever steered us wrong before?"

Narcissa wisely chose not to mention that fact that it was Lucius who had foolishly aligned himself with Voldemort and almost had them all killed.

"It won't last forever. Someday he will remember."  
Lucius sighed. "I'm well aware of that. When that day comes, he will be married to Astoria and have a child. Draco will not abandon his responsibilities for some fling", he spat.

Narcissa hated this. She knew more than Lucius that it had not been just a fling. She had seen his empty bed at night. Been suspicious after he decided to 'move out' on his own. Noticed that Draco had never been this happy since he was a small child. How could she not? She was a mother. But, Potter was gone and had taken her grandchild with him. Her heart cried for the baby she would never see, that her son would never raise. No, that would not do. If there was even the smallest chance that this would bring Draco peace, it had to be done. For she knew her Dragon. He was stubborn, loyal and fiercely proud but also sweet and caring to those fortunate to see that side of him. He would never stop looking for Potter otherwise.

"I'm sorry.", she whispered as she pressed a chaste kiss to Draco's forehead. "Step back Cissa", Lucius commanded. He raised his wand and chanted the spell; his wrist flicking his wand in intricate, graceful movements. "Nulla memoria reliquit!"

Draco was trapped inside his own mind. He thought he was dreaming as he was pulled by an unknown force through an endless stream of memories. His conscious mind finally came to rest coming face to face with the first time they ever made love.

_Draco blindly opened the door walked across the dimly lit room with Harry's legs wrapped firmly around his waist. His knees hit the side of the bed as both of them fell down roughly; the plumpness of the mattress and sheets deflating under their weight. Draco's fingers ghosted up Harry's chest, before pulling his shirt off. Draco kissed the area just above the seam of Harry's jeans, where a trail of dark hair began and almost certainly led down to his groin. Draco was damn sure going to find out tonight._

_He continued to softly kiss his way up until he buried himself in the scent of Harry's neck. He chuckled silently to himself because Harry always smelled of plain soap and some unidentifiable intoxicating spice. While he continued kissing Harry's neck, he reached down to cup his lover's bulge, swiftly unbuckling his belt and jeans and sliding a hand onto the welcoming heat. Letting out a groan, Harry raked his hands through Draco's hair pulling him closer so that their skin became one; causing the most delicious friction._

_They both gasped as Harry took Draco's cock into his hands and moved them up and down, using the precum that now coated Draco's painfully hard tip as a lubricant. He slowly alternated his pace to drive Draco to the brink of insanity. He rested his head on Harry's shoulder and let the feeling wash over him. Just as he was about to break, Harry let go and pulled Draco into a fierce kiss. "Fucking tease", Draco growled and attacked Harry's lips again. Before he knew it, they were both stark naked. Harry gasped at the cold air hitting his body. Draco smiled. "Open your legs for me love.", he whispered into Harry's ear sending shivers down the other boy's spine. Harry was surprised by how easily his legs complied. Like they were made for this._

_Looking down, Draco could see Harry's urgency. He was almost begging with the way his eyes squeezed shut and his mouth let out desperate moans; his body arched against Draco's. Draco's hardness rubbed against Harry before he very slowly pushed inside; burning through Harry in the best possible way. He moved with slow, strong strokes. Draco pulled back and angled his body before slamming back into Harry at an alarming speed, leaving him breathless. "Fuck, Draco" Harry moaned as he dug blunted fingernails into Draco's back. He wondered briefly if Draco knew just how well he was playing his body; just how good it felt to be under him; how defenseless and vulnerable he made him feel._

_Draco could feel Harry's warmth squeezing around his cock. He quickly picked up the pace seeking more. Faster and harder their bodies collided together; no coherent thought or word could be discerned between the two. Need, hunger and lust drove through them. Draco felt himself unraveling thread by thread. He rested his forehead slick with sweat on Harry's shoulder, reaching between them to stroke Harry and seconds later he came pulsating into the deepest depth that was Harry. The sensation of that pushed Harry over the edge and he moaned loudly spilling himself all over their chests._

_Draco opened his eyes in shock as they both came back to the earth. He looked down at the impossibly green eyes listlessly staring at him under dark eyelashes and felt something catch in his chest. "Potter. I think I might be in love with you.", he said breathlessly before kissing Harry's forehead. He slowly extracted himself from Harry's body and collapsed behind the other man, pulling him close as if his life depended on it._

He stared at Harry and himself lying in bed. He floated above the two of them, smiling. Back then, things were easy. They were so peaceful, so in love, limbs tangled in a tight embrace as if they were the only two people left in the world. He wondered if he would ever have that naive innocence again. Draco snapped to attention when he realized that something was terribly wrong. The memory began to melt away, the scene before him dissolving into nothingness. He couldn't recall what he had just been looking at before being pulled away. He came to rest again, his mind was rattled, but he intently watched the scene before him.

_It was a cold winter's day. His gaze landed on the two of them strolling in Muggle London. They were without glamours because here they could be themselves. Just Draco and just Harry._

_Draco noticed the delight in his lover's eyes as he spotted an antique store. He rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's newfound obsession. Harry flashed a smile and moved to go into the store. Draco firmly planted his feet into the ground, refusing to move. Harry frowned momentarily and then walked back to where Draco was standing with a devious smirk. He stood and captured Draco's lips in a body melting kiss that left them both breathless and quite warm despite the freezing temperature outside. At that moment, Draco knew he was powerless to protest and allowed himself to be pulled into the store, the door chime jingling behind them._

_"Potter, this is useless, broken junk. Why would you want any of this filth?", he said eyeing the objects with visible disgust._  
"It's not junk, you stuck up arse!", Harry retorted playfully hitting Draco's arm.  
"It absolutely is junk. If you want something new love, I'll gladly buy it. Come now. Tell daddy Draco what you'd like," Draco purred pulling Harry to him and grinding their middles together. The store owner eyed the two over his glasses. The old man shook his head in disapproval and returned to the paper he was reading. 

_"Stop!" Harry whispered fiercely, turning red and sending just a tiny bit of wandless electricity into Draco's side. Draco laughed and raised his hands in forfeit. Harry turned back to the clock he was eyeing before. "This is the one." He dusted off the clock's face and carried it proudly to the register._

Lucius and Narcissa watched as Draco thrashed on the bed, tears streaming down his face. He was crying out nonsensical words; desperately trying to fight the spell. Lucius gently led his wife out the door and to their own chambers.

Draco was dragged through memory after memory of their love. Each one melting in the end; a part of his heart dying with each loss. Until finally, he was left in that last one. The one that meant the most. The one that ended it all...

_Harry tumbled out of the floo, nausea taking him over. He groaned and tried to steady himself and his swirling vision.  
"I hate the floo", he grumbled. He heard rustling upstairs. "Draco", he said to himself with a smile. Draco was home early. He bounded up the stairs and opened the door to the bedroom. He was frozen in place seeing Draco standing over an open suitcase, his other bags sitting by the door._

_"What are you doing?" Draco whirled around as if he had been caught red-handed._  
 _"I'm leaving, what does it look like?"_  
"Leaving?"  
"Yes, leaving Potter. Isn't that what I just said?" 

_"Why?" Harry asked, his voice barely above a whisper._  
Draco slammed the suitcase shut. "This was never going to work out. You knew this would end eventually. You know who I am. I have obligations. My father already signed the contract."  
"So that's it then? You're just going to walk out? After two bloody years?"  
"You wouldn't understand. You don't have any parents to answer to. No family depending on you. The whole Malfoy line is in my hands You don't know what kind of responsibility that is." 

_"I don't know anything about responsibility?" Harry asked in disbelief. "You know why I don't have any parents? Why I have no family? Because they were murdered trying to protect me. You want to talk about responsibility? You only have a duty to one family. I've had the entire wizarding world's destiny in my hands since I was one year old Draco. One! Don't you dare talk to me about responsibility Draco."_

_"I don't have a choice."_

_"Bollocks! There's always a choice Draco. Was it all a lie then? Was I just a temporary fuck until they sold you off to the highest bidder?"_

_Harry didn't even recognize the person standing in front of him. The person he fell in love with was gone. Buried deep underneath the skin, suffocating under the person Draco was now determined to become. Perhaps who he rightfully should have been all along if they hadn't fallen in love. Harry closed his eyes tightly wishing this all away._

_"I must be a fool. A spectacular idiot. Because I actually thought you loved me. I thought this was real."_  
 _"Harry. Please try to understand. I never wanted to hurt you. I do love..."_  
Harry backed away from Draco shaking his head.  
"No. Don't even say it. You don't know what love is. You'll always be a cruel heartless bastard, just like your father. Get out!" 

_Harry turned to face the wall; willing the tears now freely flowing down his face to stop as well as forcing himself not to turn around. Because if he had to watch Draco walk out the door, there was a good chance that he would never be able to move again._

_He turned and took one last glance at Harry's defeated figure staring at the wall. He thought he should say more, but he couldn't think of anything that could make this better. Nothing would ever make this better._

_"You deserve more than I can give you." Draco stated softly and left._

Draco woke with a start finding himself in his room, alone in his bed; his pale lashes coated with tears. He couldn't remember how he had gotten there, but he assumed the house elves had taken him to bed. His body felt weak and his heart empty. He peeled off his sweat soaked trousers and shirt; discarding them to the floor. After a while, he eventually fell into a restless sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: It's been a while huh? I'm truly sorry for anyone who might be still reading this or has been waiting for me to update. I promised not to abandon any of my stories, so here I am. I've been distracted by new fandoms and plot bunnies so I've been struggling to come back to some of my older stuff. [ Insert shameless plug about how you all should go read some of my newer stories if you haven't already. I even managed to write some non- Mpreg! #gasp] Any who, I pieced this together this morning and it's not great, but it's going up anyway. Don't be too hard on me.

"We're just worried about you Harry. That's all.", Hermione said, her eyes full of concern.  


Harry was on his knees with his head stuck in the fireplace. His position was made even more difficult by the huge bump that had taken up residence on his front. The healers thought it could be any day now that he would go into labor. With it being a male pregnancy, Harry knew he would likely not make it to full term due to the lack of room in his abdomen. He sighed heavily. 

"I know Mione, but I'm fine. I told you I just needed a break. I was working too hard and I burned myself out.", he explained with a shrug.

Hermione pursed her lips at his answer and he knew she could see right through him. "But to go all the way to America? You didn't even tell anyone you were leaving. Gods Harry, we thought you were dead. How could you do that to us?"

Her voice wobbled on the last bit and he prayed that she wouldn't start crying. Again. Hermione herself was eight months gone with her and Ron's second child. If she started in now, he didn't know if he would be able to stop himself from joining her. He felt awful about the way he handled things. In his haste to get away from Draco, he'd hurt the people who mattered the most to him. His family. The Weasleys had gone out of their minds looking for him for two weeks before he called after finally getting settled in his new apartment. When they couldn't find a trace of his magical signature anywhere in the United Kingdom they feared the worst. This was only the third time he'd flooed them in the five months since he left England. He had lied to them then and he was still lying to them now.

"Leave the man be Mione. He said he was sorry a million times.", Ron said, sending Harry a reassuring wink.

Hermione shot him a scathing look, but he just rolled his eyes and mumbled something about hormones while putting his arm around her shoulder. "Harry...", she began slowly. "This wouldn't have anything to do with Ginny and Dean would it? I know you said you were over it a long time ago, but it can't be easy seeing them get engaged. You two were together for-"

"No.", he cut in. "This has absolutely nothing to do with Ginny. I can promise you that." He almost wanted to laugh. If only they knew that Hermione was half correct. His drastic move did have something to do with an ex-lover's engagement, but not Ginny's. Ginny and him had tried dating, but they quickly realized they weren't compatible enough to be in a relationship and would be better off as friends. They were practically siblings anyway. It would never have worked. Especially once he realized that the one thing they did have in common was an absolute deal breaker. They both liked cock.

He could only imagine what his friends and family would think if they found out that not only had he been in a secret relationship with none other than Draco Malfoy for years, but he was knocked up by him as well.

Hermione let out a sigh of relief. "She was worried about you too you know. I think Dean was a bit jealous.", she teased.  
Ron snorted in amused agreement. Dean had sulked and begrudgingly helped them look for Harry, but they all knew that some part of him was glad that Harry was gone. He didn't want him hurt or anything like that, but he still held onto insecurities about Harry coming to his senses, realizing that he made a mistake breaking up with Ginny and trying to get her back.

"Malfoy was even worried about you. He came by my office demanding to know where you'd run off to.", Ron told him.

Harry paled at the mention of Draco and his back knotted up in tension. Draco was looking for him. Did he know about the baby? Of course he did, Harry reminded himself. It was well over his twelfth week mark. Draco had to have gotten the notice by now.

"You didn't.", Harry swallowed. "You didn't tell him anything did you?"  
"Don't worry mate, I told him to piss right off. He came by a few more times sticking his pointy nose around, but I haven't seen him in a while. He got married last month, did you hear? Honestly, what kind of idiot would marry Malfoy?"

Hermione bumped his arm. "Ronald!", she scolded. "Astoria is a perfectly decent person. She and I worked together on that ball last year."  
"She's still an idiot if she married Malfoy. The last thing we need is more pointy faced gits walking around acting like they own the place.", Ron said with a scowl.

Harry knew Ron was unaware of what was really going on, but the insult hit him hard in the gut. Because if Astoria was an idiot, then so was he. He was the one actually carrying the next generation of Malfoy in his stomach. Only he didn't get a fancy wedding or a ring to do it either. None of the perks, all of the heartbreak.

He knew this was coming. He knew that Draco was engaged. Had known for months. But the reality that it was finally over, that Draco was actually bound to someone else forever and that there was no chance for them left, was too much to bear in that moment. He felt the tears threatening at the corners of his eyes and he knew it was time to go. "Guys, I'm sort of tired and I still have some stuff to do around the house. I'll floo later."

"You better.", Hermione threatened.  
"See you later mate.", Ron said with a small wave. Harry smiled tightly before cutting off the connection on his end.

He sat back on the floor, letting his back rest against a stack of floor pillows. His hand wandered to his bump where the baby was now kicking harshly, probably in response to his surging emotions. The little tyke always seemed to know when he was hungry or upset. Right now, he was pitiful mixture of both with a little more on the latter end. When the baby shoved it's foot in his side, he leaned to the side gasping. He looked down at his stomach and mumbled, "What was that about love? Do you need something to eat?" The answering kick was confirmation enough for him.

Harry lifted himself off the floor with difficulty and waddled into the kitchen. He was too tired to fix any real food so he opened the fridge to find the container of store bought chicken salad and bag of crackers. No sooner had he popped open the lid did his midsection begin to twist and tighten painfully with no let up. He panicked.

Surely this wasn't happening right now. Not at this moment. He felt a strange sensation and then a rush of water came flooding into his pants and soaked through to the tiled floor.

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Lucius and Narcissa sat in their recreation room, sharing a cup of tea before it was time to retire to bed. The manor was cold and lonely without Draco in it since he and Astoria had moved into one of the smaller family properties. It was pureblood custom that a newly married couple live with their parents, but Draco had stubbornly insisted that they needed their own space. It was times like this that Narcissa mourned her other little sleeping angels and cursed her body for not being able to bear more than one child. Even with the aid of magic.

It was also times like this that she secretly mourned the loss of her grandchild whose little feet would have been padding down the halls of the manor in no time. The guilt of what they had done ate away at her until it was almost suffocating. More often that not, she found herself struggling to tell Draco the truth. It would dangle on tip of her tongue waiting to slip, but never did.

Hopefully, Draco and Astoria would be able to conceive soon and this nightmare would be behind them. An elf popped into the room, the poor creature shaking at it's knobby knees and fiddling with the off green potato sack it was wearing. Likely because all of the staff had strict instructions not to disturb them at this late an hour unless there was some sort of crisis.

"What is it now?", Lucius snapped. He was kinder to the elves than he had been before, but old habits died hard.  
"M-master is telling Boppin to call when the tapestry changes.", it stuttered. Lucius's eyes hardened to pure steel and his face was void of any emotion.

Narcissa tried to hold in her excitement and placed her tea down carefully. "What does it say?", she asked quietly, but eagerly. The elf was still frightened and could hardly get the words out.  
"Spit it out elf!", Lucius commanded, tiring of the creature's incessant blubbering. The small elf jumped at the sound of his master's voice and curled into itself whimpering. Narcissa held up a silencing hand towards Lucius and looked at the elf kindly to let him know it was alright to proceed.  
"Go ahead Boppin. It's alright." "I-it s-says, Emerson James Potter ma'am."

Narcissa let out a tender breath of surprise and placed a hand over her heart. "Oh."

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FOUR YEARS LATER...

Draco sat at his desk, eyes pouring over a complicated contract. A sound of frustration and boredom escaped his lips as he carelessly tossed the papers aside and leant back in his chair. For a few brief moments, he was oddly serene. Something that wasn't a common occurrence days. He allowed himself to fall into the false sense of security before the pain slammed into him.

As usual, his mind filled with shadowed images of a man. The sounds of the stranger laughing. Of him dancing horrendously in a living room. Of him stepping out of the shower, his dark hair wild and dripping water down his short, lithe body; one that was pressed against his skin as he woke in the morning. Try as he might, Draco could never make out his face. It was something akin to fragments of memories. Impossibly familiar memories. Ones that never took place. This illness had haunted him for nearly four years.

_Draco snuggled into the warm body next to him. His nose buried itself in the wild mane of his partner. The man almost immediately wiggled away from him and moved to the farthest edge of the bed; one arm hanging over the side.  
"G'way", a groggy and obviously irritated voice mumbled. "It's too hot."_

_He smirked and slid over, pressing himself as close to the other man as he could get; draping his legs and arms over his body in a tight, octopus-like hold. "Oh it's hot is it?" He blew hot air all over the man's arms and face despite his attempts to shield himself with his hands and forearms. He wasn't surprised when a rather bony elbow reached back and flew right into his stomach._

_He groaned dramatically and fell against the pillows. "Abuse!", he cried. Then lips pressed against his and he was silenced._

_"You're a right pain in my arse. Do you know that?" His words held no anger behind them. They were full of fondness more than anything else.  
"That may be, but I have it on good authority that you like a little pain.", Draco said smugly before attacking his partner's lips and pinning his arms to the bed. _

Draco had been to mind healer after healer thinking somehow he had been secretly hexed as revenge for his participation in the war. Or perhaps revenge from one of the many sour business deals he had come across. However, none of it made sense. What curse or potion would make him lust after an unknown man?

Draco's life was slowly crumbling apart. Ever since he married Astoria, he had been miserable. He struggled to make love to her after the traditional wedding consummation. That night, she was eager, responsive and perfectly submissive in a way that was surprising. He'd always been brought up expecting that Pureblood young ladies were just that, ladies. In every arena of life. Astoria had wantonly moaned out her pleasure and pressed perfectly manicured fingernails into his biceps to encourage him. She even allowed Draco to fold her into positions that would have shamed her ancestors. And it did nothing for him. Absolutely nothing. After more than an hour of trying, he still couldn't quite get there.

He had had lovers before, plenty of them. A healthy sex life involving men and women. Alright, mostly men but that shouldn't have mattered. Malfoys never failed at anything. They were supposed to be the best; always performing above and beyond expectations. After a few embarrassing and pathetic attempts at finding his pleasure with his wife, he had given it up all together and Astoria had for lack of a better phrase, been told to piss off to her own rooms indefinitely. She protested of course, knowing that they were expected to produce at least one child, but Draco would hear none of it. He began a string of highly discreet and frequent affairs to tame his needs and last he heard, so did she. As long as she didn't turn up pregnant or have her dalliances carelessly exposed to the public, Draco couldn't find it in himself to care.

Their relationship had deteriorated fairly quickly, both as friends and as a married couple. Not that there was much of a relationship there to begin with and not for a lack of trying on her end. Initially, he'd had hopes that he would at least be as content with his marriage as his parents had been and even grow to love and appreciate the person that Astoria was, but it never came. He strongly resented her for reasons that were unclear, even to himself. Logically, he knew very well that she'd had no choice in their union either, but he couldn't help but feel like she'd stolen something important away from him.

His secretary alerted him that his father was on his way to his office. Unannounced, as usual. Not two minutes later did Lucius come strolling into his son's office.

"Father", Draco greeted dryly.  
"Draco", his father acknowledged with a slight nod as he sat down, cane still in hand; his Malfoy family crest ring shining brightly on his finger.

Draco pretended to be engrossed in his paperwork. He wasn't particularly fond of his father's impromptu visits. It was bad enough that he saw him at dinner every Sunday and in business meetings. No one, and I mean no one should ever be subject to small talk with Lucius Malfoy. Family or not. It was almost always an unpleasant affair for his father seemed to have no filter, though he was better than he had been in the past. Things had been strained between them more than ever before.

"To what do I owe this pleasure?", he said without looking up.  
"It has recently come to my attention that you are having some problems...shall we say in the bedroom? It seems you haven't had proper sexual relations in a long while. Marital relations that is. I'm certain we do not need to revisit the incident with Mr. Zabini do we?", Lucius drawled with one eyebrow raised.

Draco's head immediately snapped up. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"How? Who-?" he stuttered.  
"Who told me is of little importance.", Lucius interrupted.  
Draco said slammed his fist down on the desk; his face flooding with heat. He had never been so embarrassed in his life. Including the aforementioned incident when his father had walked in on him pounding his best friend from behind over his office desk. "The bloody hell it isn't! They had no right-" 

"Control yourself!", his father snapped, losing his patience. Draco reluctantly took his seat still fuming. "Judging by your reaction, I'd say that this information is disturbingly accurate. No use in denying it. You've been married for nearly four years and you have yet to produce a single heir. Therefore I've had several potions brewed to aid you in your future endeavors with Astoria."

Lucius pulled several, brightly colored vials from the sleeves of his robes. He sat them on the table. "I've been assured that these are the most powerful lust and impotency curing potions on the market."

Draco's chest puffed up with recently acquired bravado and Lucius's eyes flickered across his son's face in amusement. He still saw Draco as a spoiled child, under his thumb. He'd lost it once before when Draco had begun the affair with Potter and he was determined not to lose it again.

According to the family tapestry, it was coming up on the Potter bastard's fourth birthday in six month's time. At which point, if there was no other legitimate heir conceived, the child would gain his inheritance and Lucius would be powerless to stop it. Every property, every vault, every knut, and control of the entire Malfoy line's magic would fall into the hands of a child. A child that he had no control or influence over. Not even Draco knew the power that he himself wielded as the heir. Lucius had been careful to conceal it from him.

"I'm afraid you've wasted your time father. These potions are of no use to me. If you wish to have an heir so badly then bugger her yourself." Draco said in a bold move of rebellion.

Lucius reached out suddenly and grabbed Draco by the throat. Draco's eyes widened suddenly, a sense of deja-vu shuddering through his body as his wind pipe was closed off by intermittent twitches of Lucius's hands. He felt his father's breath creep against the side of his face.

"Do not test me boy." Lucius whispered dangerously. "You will provide an heir or you will regret it."

"Resorting to the old threats I see.", Draco managed to choke out.  
"This is no threat Draco. I can and I _will_ make your life a living hell.", he promised and Draco knew better than to push his fortune from the look in his eyes. Lucius released his hand from Draco's throat and Draco dropped clumsily into his chair.

Lucius brushed off his robes and adjusted his cuffs, straightening himself up as he moved to leave. As he reached the door, he stopped at the sound of Draco's labored breathing as he attempted to suck as much air back into his lungs as possible.

"If it makes you feel any better Draconis, I'm graciously giving you one month to get your priorities in order. I'm sending you to America to oversee a business deal. I trust you won't disappoint me. I've gone through entirely too much to ensure your success." With that, he swept out of Draco's office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well....it wasn't completely terrible. Let me know what you thought :)


End file.
